Tag: some

Why do some adoption agencies tell people who are in developing countries?

Question by Justin Case: Why do some adoption agencies tell people who are in developing countries?
Why do some adoption agencies tell people who are in developing countries
that their child or children is only coming ot the USA to get a good education but will be able to come back home. When in reality they are being scammed out of their child. I heard this on tv and from many people who have lost their children to American and even some Italian adoption agencies. This is yet another reason why my wife and I decided it would be better to just try and have biological children. And we are happy to have 4 bio kids. Even though my wife was told she may never be able to have children. But back to what I was saying, with so much going on that is shady in the adoption agencies around the world, why do people not just adopt from foster care instead of adopting new borns and or children who’s parents can’t speak English? I have been told that is the one tool that is causing them to be mislead and lied to, because to a foreigner English has more than one translation.

Best answer:

Answer by Walter Ford II
“Why do some adoption agencies tell people who are in developing countries
that their child or children is only coming ot the USA to get a good education but will be able to come back home.”

Its the oldest scam in the books. How else are they going to get them to part with their children in order to sell them and become millionaires.

Another lie they tell them is that they will be able to move to the US after their child has lived in the US 6 months or so and they will be set up with a job and reunited.

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http://internationaladoptionministry.org – Now We Have Russian Adoption Ban As a result Russian orphans are being used as political pawns. There is huge oppo…

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Q&A: What are some good books on practical ethics?

Question by Conrad: What are some good books on practical ethics?
I’m trying to teach my kids to live good, ethical lives, but they each believe in different religious and non-religious traditions (we adopted them from a number of different countries).

I’m looking for a book that gives some good, solid arguments for why someone should live a good, ethical life.

Because of their diversity of beliefs, none of the usual arguments work (e.g., “virtue is its own reward”, or “do good because it feels good” or the popular religious argument, “be good or have a bad afterlife”).

They just practice ‘selective ethics’, where they’re good when it’s in their own best interests, and their bad when they feel like the benefits outweigh the costs.

So I’d really like to find a book that gives some good, logical arguments for having ethics. I want my kids to be good all the time, not just when it is to their advantage. Thanks for any help you can give

Best answer:

Answer by dude
Practical Ethics by Peter Singer, very good book.

Just so you know, their behavior is partly governed by genetics and partly by environment, so dont think that reading books will make them want to be ethical. There are PLENTY of people who surround themselves with ethical people and the lifestyle and still take meth while having sex with prostitutes. Not that that hurts anyone else, but there you are.

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We are Douglas and Kelley. We live in northern Indiana and are working with Bethany Christian Services to adopt our first child. Thank you for taking the tim…
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Would like to adopt a child from India…need some information please!?

Question by Jess: Would like to adopt a child from India…need some information please!?
I am getting married in less than 2 months and my fiance and i are beginning to look into adoption organizations in India.

I am aware that we will not be considered for application until we’ve been married for approximately 2 years….but we’re doing the research now so when we do want to adopt, we will have a plan.

The problem we’ve been encountering is that many adoption agencies give preference to Indian families in inter-country adoptions. My fiance and I are Bosnian, and Swedish, respectively, so we’re finding it difficult to find an agency that would be willing to work with us.

If you’ve adopted from India, know someone who has, or are otherwise familiar with the process I would be very appreciative if you could share what you know.

Thanks so much for all of your help!
Just in case it comes up again; We are not adopting from India solely because we want to “help” the less fortunate. If that was our sole motivation we wpuld not be focused on any particular country and would likely adopt from the US.

The truth of the matter is that both my fiance and I traveled to India about 5 years ago and fell in love with the people, and culture.

And by the way…the United States isn’t recognized as being overpopulated. Our population density/square mile is less than virtually every developed country. But thanks for your concern.
…I should’ve clarified, we are citizens of and are living in the U.S.
To the final comment; your answer presupposes that every race is distinguishable from one another beginning at birth. Your asenine response exemplifies the epitome of American ignorance. If my husband and I were to adopt an infant from India (or any other country for that matter) we would be as qualified to raise that child as a child from Bosnia, Sweden, or the U.S.

How do you explain that so many children adopted from other nations live happy, well-adjusted lives when their parents are from a different “culture” than their own?

If you were a knowledgable human rights activist you would understand that culture is acquired, not innate, therefore a child from India could be raised as an American without any repercussions…just as an American child could be raised in India without any ill-effects or counter-culturally turmoil.

Best answer:

Answer by chase r
I know its all good to try to help people, but adopting from other countries is just overpopulating the U.S, adopt in the U.S

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Long question and i need some honest answers?

Question by Mari: Long question and i need some honest answers?
Background: I got this letter from a birthfather today. We aren’t really on speaking terms and he is 300 miles away. I’m post college and have a supportive family. He uses some examples of friends but i’m sure you can still follow. I have looked deep into adoption from the agencies to non profits to anti adoption to the primal wound. I know for a FACT he has only looked at agencies and Christian groups.

Please read this without predisposition, prejudice, and confidence in my good intentions. If I was looking to get out of this just for myself, you’ve shown me that door, and I’m not going to take it. I refuse to let this situation end poorly because of a lack of foresight. And I will not make any decision unless I know it’s best.

1. It is unhealthy for a child to be raised in an unstable, volatile environment.
Our relationship is both unstable and highly volatile. Her views on men, relationships, and marriage will most likely be highly distorted later in life as a result. If we cannot sort out our issues with each other, I don’t know how we could raise a child together, and I don’t want you to have to explain to her that you didn’t want me to be around.

2. A child needs more than a loving mother and financial stability.
I know you could be an excellent mother, but no one should have to do it alone. I don’t think you are qualified to be a father, and you shouldn’t have to be. And your father is hardly a shining example of a man.

3. You are very intelligent and a good writer, but you will undoubtedly have to sacrifice some of your dreams if you keep the child. I am afraid you are making these sacrifices not for the best interests of the child, but because your parents are pressuring you.
Your parents want you to have this kid right now because they want a grandchild. You want to have a kid, but not now. You know that having this child means you will almost certainly be able to have another.

4. Being a single mom is lonely.
I’m not going to force myself into this family if I’m getting resistance from all sides. You won’t have anyone to give you support or comfort in the way a mother needs it. Your parents can’t provide what you need, and you know this. Look at how hard this all is for you now. It’s not going to get any easier. And on top of it, it’s hard enough to find a good man. Let alone one who wants a pre-made family. And you have already told me you hate men, so the odds of you finding someone willing to change your mind and raise your child are damn near impossible. The overwhelming number of single parents who sacrifice social life for their children for an average of 18 years is more than intimidating to me. I don’t want that for either of us.

5. Unplanned pregnancies have a resounding failure rate.
Jessie is probably getting divorced. Alex already has been divorced and could lose custody of her child. My friend Abby’s mother gave up her career as a violinist to raise her daughter with Abby’s grandparents and has always resented her daughter for it. On top of that, Abby has never received any information about her father from anyone. Levi Bean’s mother stayed in a psychologically abusive relationship for 18 years until he was out of the house before leaving her husband.

6. This child deserves the best.
There is no way of knowing whether any family can provide all of this, but there is a way of knowing that you and I cannot provide the stable structure this baby deserves right off the bat. She cannot make this choice for herself, so you need to make it for her. What do you think a child would prefer: a happily married couple with fully developed careers, a strong desire to have a child and the means to provide for coloring books, braces, summer camp, and college funds; or an unhappily seperated set of parents who still love her very much but do not have established careers and did not plan to have a child at this time.

How do i respond to this. Im keeping my child. And eventhough this letter makes me feel like a terrible person for keeping her, cause he makes me feel like im ruining her life, should i give him material on the cons of adoption. I just feel like he’ll never get it cause he isnt carrying her and he isnt here. I would like opinions from people who have been affected by adoption or are experts in adoption
Thanks guys

To the woman who thinks im pushing him away im not. He DOES NOT WANT TO GET MARRIED or even be in any kind of romantic relationship with me! He just will come visit once a month. And my parents dont care for him because they know he forces his opinions on me, doesn’t want to marry me, and he is in college and has awhile to go plus student loans (My dad doesnt see him as a ‘man’ my dads very old school) and im not saying my parents are right but they do have reasons

Best answer:

Answer by Meems
You’ve finished college, have a supportive family, and from the sounds of it you are financially stable- I think you sound more than qualified to raise the child on your own. Being raised by a single parent is not the end of the world, much worse to surrender the child to adoption and risk the adoptive couple being completely dysfunctional. There are no guaranties in adoption, many adoptive families are wonderful and truly are the best option for the child but there is always the chance of opposite. If you are willing and able to raise her then I honestly think that is the best possible situation. Go with your gut on this, you are the mother and will have to live with this situation the rest of your life.

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adoption ceremony at the hospital for our families performed by Amy’s dad…
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